IT’S A GIRL, the very words that I dreaded hearing on August 27th, the day we went to find out what our 4th baby would be. I didn’t dread them because I don’t want another girl, I love my girls and will love another one just the same. I was dreading them because I know God is going to bless us with a boy so hearing that baby 4 is a girl only painted the reality that 5 kids are on our horizon…YIKES!
If I had to caption our faces in this photo LOL I would say Jason is looking at the pink Balloons thinking, when I open my eyes again, you’ll be blue, and I’m looking at Jason like c’mon man, I am smiling put on a smile with me, you’re messing up our Instagram post…Stelly is like been there, done that, show me something new…Charlie is like yep, that’s pink, dang it, I was supposed to be the baby girl…and Berry is basking in the fact that if she couldn’t be the baby girl, then neither can Charlie ha haaaa…But in reality, I was the only one with a negative reaction. My sweet girls have been excited all along to welcome a new baby girl and my husband has been nothing but positive and supportive that we have done well with our girls, so let’s be grateful God trusts us with another one!
I’m not going to lie, the first few weeks of finding out, I was in my flesh and taking the news rougher than I thought I would. I was not enjoying my pregnancy at all, I was moodier than a regular preggo mama and I just kept wanting to think maybe they got it wrong…I even took an at-home Rite Aid gender test (Monkey covering face emoji), which ironically said it’ a boy, so that forced me to go to a 3-d ultrasound center just to confirm the sex for a 3rd time, after all that…..It was still a GIRL!
One day, last week, I was hit in the face with harsh realities all around me. A story of someone losing their child, an expecting mama losing her baby before giving birth, many on social media expressing financial problems, health issues, relationship struggles and the list of negativity went on. All I could do was slap myself in the face and tell myself to GET OVER IT! STOP being a big baby and embrace yet another Blessing From God! That fast, all of my negativity was released and I let go and let GOD.
In the same week, I had a play date with my sister and a good friend of ours and we started brainstorming some exciting ways to unite mamas, and it was confirmed, I was right where I was supposed to be. God makes no mistakes, and everything is in his plan always turns out WAY better than our own. God is going to use me even more now because of this, and I am all his!
I also started thinking of baby girl names and it’s so crazy, I thought I had used up ALL of the girl names possible but all kinds of adorable names starting popping up (Thanks to my Purdue Group chat), I feel like I need to give her 4 names just to fit them all in!!!
God has blessed me with an awesome husband, easy pregnancies, smooth deliveries, healthy-beautiful-talented babies, and a recovery time like no other…there’s no reason I can’t do that a 4th and even 5th time =)! After all, I have so many labor prep and birthing methods, products and activities that I want to try that I need at least 2 more babies to get it all in hehe!
God for the gift of life! Thank you for choosing me and Jason to be the stewards of your 4 girls. Forgive me for being ungrateful and bitter, I am thankful for your grace and mercy!