I was recently asked the question, “When did you fall in love with yourself?”
I really had to ponder this question because on one hand I’m thinking aren’t we all born loving ourselves? We are self. How do you not love yourself? How can this just happen one day?
But then quickly all the things I don’t love about myself came rushing in and I started pondering on that…if self-love just is would there be so much body shaming, depression, mindless eating, self-destruction, suicide, etc.?
Are we born in God’s image, full of love and then raised up in a world that teaches us to fall out of love with ourselves?
When and how does this happen?
Which happens first? Falling out of love or in love with ourselves?
As I thought through it I think certainly we are born into love. And then we fall out of love as we grow up. And perhaps that’s when life begins when we embark on the journey of re-discovering how to love ourselves.
I’ve hated my hair. My forehead. My no boob having the self. My feet. My hands. My nails. Certain features. I’ve hated my skin at times when it had acne all over it. I’ve hated my long veiny arms. I’ve hated my legs when I felt like they had too much cellulite and were thicker than the norm. I’ve hated being tall. I’ve hated being short. I’ve hated my belly and belly button. I’ve hated my impulsive behavior. I’ve hated that I hate getting up early in the morning. I’ve hated my indecisiveness. I’ve hated the fact that I’m always running late. I’ve hated that I’m so jealous and territorial. I’ve hated my addiction to sugar.
I could literally go on and on. But when I’ve hated these things most is when I’m comparing myself to other people. It wasn’t until recently that I’ve really started to become aware of my comparing game and retrain my brain not to do it.
Comparison is the thief of joy. And therefore the thief of love, too.
How can we love ourselves if we’re constantly comparing ourselves to other people?
I’ve really had to channel something my mom always taught me “there’s always someone better than you and always someone you’re better than” and not in a way like we are not all equal but in a way that we all have different gifts and talents. We are all made different. We are all going to shine in different ways but that doesn’t make us less than one another. This always made me feel better. To allow others to be great in their greatness and appreciate it. And to realize it’s my duty to be great in mine!
The more we can lean into our weaknesses and things we don’t necessarily love about ourselves and learn to accept them and embrace them as is, the more we fall in love with ourselves.
I saw this quote and it resonated with this topic. We are so quick to love others and yet neglect ourselves. But can we truly love others if we don’t love ourselves?
Self Love must come first!
It says in the bible to Love thy neighbor as yourself Mark 12:31…But that would mean we must love ourselves then first right? Are we really loving ourselves?
Falling in love with myself has come from learning to have gratitude. Being grateful for all I am and not focusing on all that I am not.
So since I made a list of all the things I hate about myself, I had to even it out with some things I love about myself too.
I love that I can change my hair all the time. I love that though my forehead is big, I’m still beautiful. I Love that my small boobs don’t give me back problems and have nursed 4 babies for over a year each. I love that I have 2 feet with 10 toes and I can use them to work out, walk, hike, ride my bike and run. I love my hands because they hold my babies. They touch my husband. They prepare meals. They write and type to communicate with others. They do so much and I couldn’t imagine life without them. I love that even though I don’t have the ideal long nail bed and nails that grow long and strong, I have discovered how to help them grow healthier through my diet. I love all of my features even the ones I hate because they make me me. People pay for big lips as I have. I love the acne I had because it led me to a healthier lifestyle discovering the power of food and how the body reacts. I love my arms for being able to hug those I love and the fact that I actually get tons of compliments on them. I love my legs now but I love my old legs hat I hated too. I even look back and wish I had them today. I love my height. It is perfect for me and my life. I love my belly because it has carried and birthed 4 babies. As much as my impulsive behavior has gotten me in some trouble, I love that it has helped me get a lot done and take risks. I love sleep so as much and as I want to get up early, I’m grateful I don’t have sleep problems. I love that I can be indecisive at times because I give lots of things a chance. I love that I have control over changing the story that I’m always late and I can stop that bad habit amongst many others. I love that my jealous and territorial behavior has led me to self-discovery and exploring meditation, prayer and a closer relationship with myself to improve my self-love and transcend that into how I love others. I love that my sugar addiction can be broken and I have experienced life without it and it’s a good life.
How did you answer this self-love question? Do you struggle with it? If so, why?
I challenge you to write a list of things you hate about yourself and change the perspective in which you see them and write a sentiment of gratitude for each. It will change your life. It will help you realized how blessed you are. And will help you find a deeper love.
Start loving yourself more and watch how much deeper you will love and be loved!